Take a Sip, Breathe and Go…..
I know your thinking wait take a sip, sit, rest, put your feet up, relax, breath she could have not possible meant that. I must of heard her wrong that just can’t be what she said is it? No ladies you didn’t hear me wrong or miss understand me and it’s exactly what I meant and said. You must being thinking that wait how is what she s saying is possible in motherhood. Furthermore for that matter you are probably wondering and asking yourself does this women understand motherhood, the life in a day of a mother and all that mothers do. Trust me I get it and fully understand. Considering after becoming mother eight months into my journey into motherhood I started my graduate work online and had an eight month old, and by the way I am a mother who is visually impaired/legally blind. Lets add to the mix the fact of living 26 hours away from our family and friends. Then in 2013 I become a mother of two with the birth our son. Being a mother of a three year old girl and a 4 month old boy (not sleeping through the night) I started back up my graduate work with starting my Thesis. In my thus far 6 year journey as a mother I just now have completed my graduate work in June of this year. All the while attempting to keep a clean house and home for my family.
My days while looking different from most days of moms involving doing the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, play dates, driving kids back and forth to and from places, laundry, maybe a career too, bath time, dinner time, homework, dishes, appointments, and any other extensive list of a multitude of things that get crammed into the life in a day of mothers. My days up until recently was much of the same as described but it involved no driving anywhere completely at home with my babies (unless I was out with my husband or as a family), homework during nap time and bedtime and every Saturday possible perched at Panera’s and a majority of what has been listed. During this time it was normal and frequent for me to experience and feel that I was always behind the curve, always tire, trying to catch my breathe, missing something or lacking in getting family time in, house work done or homework done and feeling tattered from being pulled in all these directions. The idea or notion of sitting, resting, putting my feet up, taking a sip of anything, relaxing and breathing was to me was like what’s that I don’t understand you and it was foreign to me. It was completely impossible and I felt if even if I could or even If I did I felt guilty and like I should be doing something all the time non stop.
I know when I am in this constant state of pressure and place in my life of not being able to catch up or being behind the curve, always tired, trying to catch my breathe, missing something, going 90 to nothing or lacking in getting family time in, house work done or homework done and I can’t sit, relax, put my feet up, take a sip and breathe I feel out of control, stressed, frazzled and out of sorts with my feathers ruffled. During this part of my journey as a mother I found my way to reducing these thoughts and feelings through finding my own way of allowing myself and not punishing myself or feeling guilty for taking that moment to sit, relax, put my feet up to stop, breathe and take a sip. You might be asking yourself how did I do that and come to this point in my own journey which are both very good questions worth asking. First things first I realized I had to get steady, un-frazzled, in control, find my center and balance, destress for the simple purpose of my own sanity, well being and survival. Furthermore its true when mama happy everyone is happy or in this case sane and when mama can stop, breathe and take a break form the life of crazy days as mothers things go better and smoother for everyone. Also I figured out a little secret, although not easily, 90% if not more of it will still be here, isn’t going anywhere and will be waiting for you to attend to it once you have returned form your moment of rest, relaxation and rejuvenation. It’s okay really and the world will not (although it feels like it) come crashing down to a speedy halt if whatever is needing attending to this very instant if you say hold it and it can wait. This not always easy or done for those of us who are a little OCD, perfectionist and type A personalities trust me I know considering I’m one of them all the way for better or worse.
Here’s something else to think about for us mothers the order in which we should address and handle things (J.O.Y. Jesus, Others and You), while this is very true no disagreement here. I think the problem comes in when often times as mothers and women we feel guilty if we are not always doing, going, and giving non stop to and for others. No doubt our children and families do and should come first but if that’s is all we ever do we will become burned out, ruin down, empty with nothing else let to give, useless and of no help to no one and our families. We as women and moms must accept the fact that it’s okay to slow down, stop for a moment and take a break to sit, relax, put our feet up, take a sip and breathe. We should not ever punished ourselves or feel guilty in doing this for we are actually doing ourselves, our children and our families a service by allowing ourselves to rejuvenate, refill and replenish so that we can be the givers, care takers, mothers and wives and all the other roles and shoes we have to fill as women and mothers to the best of our abilities and give them our absolute very best of us and love to those who we treasure, cherish, hold so dear and are our whole heart, lives and world.
All mothers have to find their own way to find what it is that will allow them to stop and be able to rejuvenate, refuel, refill and replenish and where they can find that for themselves. It can be anything an evening away, a date night, a hobby like reading, quilting, gardening or any other number of things, time with a girlfriend for coffee, shopping, or whatever, an activity of any kind, exercise of any kind and any other multitude of things that can offer you as an individual mom a chance to replenish for your own sanity and survival and for your babies and families. For me personally I find this in my writing and journaling, staying connected to my friends either with girl time or talking on the phone with those who live far away, reading, date nights or time with my husband, working out, Shutterfly.com or any of my other projects related to family memories or scrapbooking, playing card games and getting a way to Panera’s from time to time, and although seasonal I absolutely love swimming or anything in the water. These are the things that work for me but as we are all individuals and individual mothers who are all traveling on our own individual journey as mothers with our individual children as well we all must find our own individual thing or things that speaks to us that allows us to be free to stop, slow down to sit, relax, put our feet up, take a sip, breath and go forward stronger, saner, and balanced in our journey as mothers who love their children and families. As we together as mothers journey on through this book remember this as you have a front seat to my own feelings, thoughts, memories, experiences and life lessons along my own journey as a mother. Along our journey as mothers may we all strive to give ourselves moments to take a sip, sit, rest, relax, rejuvenate, breathe and go forward as we steady ourselves and our houses of cards in motherhood by becoming more balance, stronger, steadier, steadfast, saner and build the house of cards of strength, love, trust, safety, independence, steadiness, confidence and steadfastness for ourselves, children and families. I urge all mothers to take a sip, sit, relax, breathe, and go forward in your journey of motherhood steadfast and strong.