To feed or to Pee
In a darkened quite room fast asleep I lay all cozy, comfy in my warm bed content to be laying next to and snuggled with my husband perfectly content to only have the peaceful silence broken by sounds from the other room. I open my sleepy eyes to listen to hear that the sound I heard was our sweet precious baby girl letting me know it’s morning, its morning MaMa and that is was time to get up and start the day. As I lay in bed for a few seconds before my feet hit the floor I think to myself do I have time to go to the bathroom but then I think that in the time I go run to the restroom what of my sweet baby girl and her needs. How is it that such a simple mundane normal situation and need become such a tough loaded question choice. Moreover why so early in the morning even before my morning glass of orange juice, coffee for most, I’m having to think so much, answer questions and make challenging choices as opposed to before when would leisurely, slowly woke up, ate, bath and started my day. I mean my brain is not meant to function well before a certain time in the morning without things to awaken my brainwaves. In these very early first moments of my day in life after becoming a mommy I realized and became profoundly aware of a few new and enlightening things.
As mommies the question is whether we should go to the bathroom first or feed our babies first and or any other needs they may have. In this question there is much represented and symbolized about motherhood, our journey as mothers and what it is to be a mommy. The needs of our babies, particularly early on, are most urgent and pressing but trust me at time our needs as well can be just as pressing and urgent. ln this question it makes us as mommies think about the act of balancing and then how do we actually mange to balance all of this being a woman and mommy. As mothers, even though we wish must to always be able to meet the needs of our babies, our needs at times must be meet as well. I have felt at time it was a tug-a-war between my and my daughter’s needs and getting them met. Thus I have wonder if needing or wanting to address my needs sometime makes me a bad or selfish mommy. Also if I do meet my needs then what is the impact on my baby girl. Some examples of this that I experienced was in the morning trying to figure it I should go to the bathroom first and then nurse but thinking if I didn’t go the bathroom first go I get throng nursing without having a bigger problem and mess on my hands. Another might be this, picture this my daughter is in the other room playing or maybe waking up from a nap and I’m in the middle of something do I stop what I’m doing and go get her or check on her or do I finish what I’m doing then go attend to my baby girl. Maybe weird maybe not, especially early on, these things and struggles brought up questions for me about how would this effect her from a point of view of Erikson such as trust/mistrust. There were numerous other examples of how I experienced the struggle for balancing my needs and the needs of my daughter in the beginning of my journey as a new mommy.
The answer and solution to the question as to pee first or feed first lies within two things what we have learned, gained and experienced as mommies and the act of balancing between our needs as mommies and the new needs of our babies. The first part helps gives knowledge to start balancing everything as mommies. What I mean as we go along with our babies on this journey of motherhood we learn what they need when the need and what their temperament and personalities are like. I figured out that what my daughter needed when she needed or when in some situations it might wait a few minutes or when she need something right away. Most of this give and take or balancing act of meeting needs comes as we learn what is best for ourselves and children as we learn and grow with them as mommies. Also as we learn we see what can do and when we can do it. If a baby is more content they might can wait a minute or too or if they are not then not some. Then again even the most laid back babies have moments or times of crisis or urgent need and as mommies we learn that as their mommies. I learned a lot of this, as most moms do, through learning, listening and taking the cues my daughter gave me.
A second piece to the answer and solution to the question is that as our children grow and go through and enter into new stages or get older we can adjust the scale of balance to where things often time are so urgent for a 2 year old or 6 year old as opposed to a 3 month old. Moreover as mothers we have much control over the scales of balance, where we realize it or not, as a result of how we choose to parent which comes down to mostly our own individual parenting philosophy and style. The question of style, philosophy and method of parenting is also something we all have to find our own way and paths that is best for us as mothers, our babies sand families. This we often discover through are learning, growing and experiences on our own individual journey as mothers. The best way of finding the balance of meeting our and our babies needs and being successful in the act of balancing in motherhood is that to learn, grow as mommies with our babies. Thus gaining understating as how to best meet babies needs while also addressing our needs as women. May we as mommies always strive to take a sip, breath, go and learn, grow, experience to find our own path and way in motherhood so we can give our children and families are best version of ourselves as mothers and women.