Minute to Minute in the life of my day as mommy
Tick, Tick tock goes the hands of the clock second by second minute to minute turning into hours and hours it’s 5am, 7am, 10am, 1pm, 3:30pm, its 6pm and oh yes it bedtime and then its 10pm mommy bedtime and there goes my day. Finally off to my sleepy night nite dream land until 1 or 3am or until tomorrow starts all over again with my sweet human alarm clock. As I started to settle into my new daily life, routine and schedule as a new mommy I was wondering some things about my time and how my days were now being spent. In some cases it seem liked there wasn’t enough seconds in the minutes never mind there not being enough hours in my days but then there were days when it seemed like and I felt as though bedtime would never come and the day would never end. On days like that they went by so insanely slowly and watching the hands of time tick, tick by at a snails pace made me just want to hit restart to my day. In some moments I wondered where in the world was my time going to and how did it get sucked up it wasn’t like I got to run the vacuum cleaner. Also I could look around and wonder what exactly I have done or gotten done with my day. I wondered if I was making in headed way or progress and what do I have to say for myself. All of these thoughts and questions were becoming a part on my new mommy reality.
Often we get so hung up on how we use our time and this is just as much true for me after becoming a mommy. I know for me I would start my day and my minutes and hours were taken up by feedings, diaper changes (potty training as she got older), play time, tv time, nap time (sometimes for me too), more of the same all over again. Somewhere thrown in those minutes dishes, washing bottles, washing and folding laundry, cleaning among other things on the never ending mommy’s to do list. Some days I would wonder how did I mange to fit all that in, other how is it I absolutely got nothing done at all. Then there were moments I though okay am I wasting my time, what am I contributing, or what am I accomplishing. How is it that some days are managed well with time well spent and then other days not managed so well and what is the difference. How is it that some days I have it all figured out and planned out and others not so much and that its just a mommy mess. These questions were important to me and I think they are important to most moms. I as a mommy felt immense pressure (all self imposed) to be super mom and superwomen. This reality is a reality I think most women and mommies experience and the pressure that is felt can come from any number of sources such as self, family, society, one’s ideals, beliefs or perceptions of motherhood and the requirements or expectations of it. I as a mom and think all moms care about caring for our babies, families and homes and having or making the time needed to achieve this new balancing act.
In my journey as a new mommy and considering all of this to include the way my days were spent and how my time was used I came to realize numerous things. Moreover I came to value several things as a new mommy. Self admittedly this was a process for me because I was and am at my core a perfectionist, type A personality, a little OCD and very much a planner, organized and very into the details. Even thought my daughter is older now I in some ways still struggle and wrestle with these questions as a mother, wife and home maker. In my journey into motherhood I have made several discoveries that have help in answering these questions and in the moments that I still find myself wrestling or struggling with these answers. My discoveries serve as good reminders for me and give a new and different perspective. One discovery that was enlightening and good to remember and serves as a great reminder for myself is to take sip, breathe and relax for I was still new and learning. I needed to allow myself the time for my motherhood learning curve and the room and space to learn, grow, and experience and work on balancing this new day, routine and schedule.
Also invaluable to me was stretching my planing and organized self to being more flexible and dealing with what I call vague outlines of plans, routines or schedule. That is to say that I knew the basic elements or components of my day but I may not know down to the second as to when they may happen but I knew in a vague flexible time window what would take place in my day. Also realizing that each day was going to be different from the other before and the one to follow after and that was okay, normal and realistic. It was also okay to realize that my day may be different even minute to minute and day from day. I learned that it was okay if things changed and were different and not as organized or planned as long as what needed to get done got done. The other stuff wasn’t going anywhere and would still be here, for better or worse, tomorrow. Another invaluable discovered perspective was that some days the priority needed to be different from another day that might require other priorities. Knowing what and when to prioritize what was called for in a certain day was part of finding the balance in my life in my day as a mommy. Leaning to move around the set of priorities for what is most important to focus on for one day to a different set on another day was okay. In doing this I could mange things better and allow myself to be more balanced and it was okay not to have to juggle all of it all the time as the same time. Giving myself the room to grow and become more flexible as a mommy helped me settle in to my new up in air schedule and balances my life in the day as a mommy. May we all as moms accept that it’s okay to be a mommy who doesn’t know everything form minute to minute all the time and that mothers from minute to minute. May we all use are minutes being in the moment of those minutes and hours and our days will be well spent and not wasted by making the most of each minute, hour and day by, treasuring and cherishing our babies thus focusing on what’s important as mommies our precious babies.