WOW! Am I mommy or an acrobatic now
Growing up as a little girl my secret ambition was to be an olympic gymnast for team U.S.A. I have always had a fascination with gymnastics, tumbling, acrobatics, and now also Cirque Du Soliel. I find there is equiosuit beauty in how someone is able and have the physical ability and physical balance to use their bodies in such a way to do such amazing things and I can’t even juggle a few balls or objects. I’m truly glad and I would imagine my baby girl and family is as well that life and motherhood doesn’t require the physical ability and coordination of a olympic gymnast to be a good mommy, wife and person others wise if that was the case I and we all would be sunk. When I became a mommy I did wonder how I would ever balance all of the new jobs, duties, tasks, responsibilities, and roles that came with motherhood and that I now had. It seemed to be a daunting awareness, reality and goal to be able to mange and balance all that was now apart of my new life as a mommy. I wondered how I would ever find and maintain the balance again.
I mean after the birth of my daughter and becoming a new mother all that has been discussed in previous chapters to include me were all now thrown into a new mix. I was still my own individual woman and wife and now adding all that comes with the role of mommy. Moreover shortly then after I added the responsibilities of graduate school like an insane crazy person while my husband also did his graduate work and military duties as if motherhood wasn’t enough. I was as all new mommies learning myself in this new role, my new baby girl, working for a short time a nights, maintaining a household, new time management, routine and schedule and attempting this new balancing act. That is way to many balls to try to juggle for someone who doesn’t juggle and can’t even juggle two balls never mind all 6 and counting involved in my new jungle act. All the while feeling torn all the time between choosing between, mommy duties, house work, family time and in the near future school work. I learned very quickly while not having the physical ability to do acrobatics or gymnastics I would need crazy, awesome and amazing mental and intellectual juggling abilities such as organization, time management, good focus and clarity, memorization and multi-tasking skills more so than ever before.
Thus this is what I have discovered along the way of my journey as a mother there have been several things that I have learned and developed that have helped me as I have and continue on my journey as a mommy. First probably the biggest thing for me that helped me was no longer having my school work being in my crazy mix and being done with school. Aside from that allowing myself to be less ridged and more flexible allowed for a lot more freedom, less stress and more balance. Moreover also trying to release and let go some was and is also less stressful and allows for more balance. For me also learning where to spend my time on things and what I prioritized to focus on for myself, my time and my family. Although harder for me because self admittedly for me being and still are a type A personality, perfectionist and a little OCD learning that it was absolutely okay and good not to have to do everything for everyone all the time and let go and let it be at times. The world would not all fall apart or go to crap if I didn’t do or attend to it. Furthermore if something waited until tomorrow that was fine too. There are some things that can wait and will be here tomorrow but most definitely there are some precious and priceless things and moments that will be long gone tomorrow. They must be savored, cherished and treasured in the moment of the here and now while they are here and I have them. In all of this I have learned that it is important for me, my family and babies that I must take my sips, soaks, snacks and sleep, breaks and breaths so that I can do my best for my daughter and family and find the balance in motherhood and life.
The trick to motherhood maybe is to be found in the idea of the balancing act itself in that is in fact keeping and maintaining the balance it self the answer to everything and is key in motherhood and for us as mommies. In my ability to balance maybe that’s the measure of me as a mother and my motherhood and how I am doing in this journey will I earn, achieve or score a bronze, silver or gold metal. Then again maybe it’s a matter of as long as I am doing my utmost and very best then I have measured up, scored and it’s in doing my best I have achieved the balance which is golden. I have discovered along the way as I continue on as a mommy that it gets easier to juggle and with more continued practice and with we get better. Also with the right tools I could truly juggle anything and everything even though yes some days better then others. That being said maybe I am and we are all gymnasts or acrobatics after all or at least in life and as a mommies. The more I do he easier it gets and the better hopefully I get at juggling this thing they call life and motherhood. In working on my juggling abilities as a women, wife and mommy I am able to provide a more balanced me, provide more balance for my daughter and my family. I’m able to build the foundation upon which I want my house of cards of motherhood to be built and it is a foundation of strength, steadiness, love, courage, serenity, security and balance.