Does motherhood come with a second instructional manual and where’s mine
In the beginning of my journey as a new mommy I was only a mommy to one precious baby and then as I continued in 2013 on my journey I become a mother of two precious babies. Each time I become a mommy it created for me a very different and new type of journey in motherhood and also my journey continued and expanded times two for me. Yes in the journey of becoming a new mommy there is the realization of all the newness in the new reality of one’s motherhood and one realizes all there is to learn, grow, discover, experience and adjust to which was monumental in and of itself for new mommies. Although for me when becoming a mommy of two there were some ways there was no adjustment needed but in other ways the realization of the new needed adjustment was equally in not more monumental and felt insurmountable. The questions I wondered as a brand new mommy were just as equally relevant to my new motherhood of two babies if not more so or at least relevant on a more expanded level or increased degree to me as a mommy. I found myself wondering again within the context of now mothering two babies how would I ever adjust and accumulate to my new world, reality and all these changes that came with having two babies. I wondered what could I use or do to help in this transition and adjustment phase of being a mommy of two babies. These questions beg the question to be asked were is my instruction manual for the transition and the for my new journey of motherhood in general even more so now more then ever than when I was just a mommy of one baby.
It would stand to reason or one would think that the most profoundly significant journey of a lifetime would come with a manual giving instructions or a map with the directions and guidance filled with advice, wisdom and answers. I mean since everything else in this life comes with instructions like how to assembly and or operate a car, drive a car, how to hook up and operate just about any electronic such as computer, an internet network, printer, tv, dvd, cd, gps, microwave, washer/dryer, speakers and any other appliances. The funny thing is that all of this that come with instruction manual are just replaceable objects not a living breathing precious, priceless life. Never mind the fact here’s the irony of becoming a parent as we prepare for our baby’s arrival we are given manuals for instruction on everything to include the crib, bassinet, rocker/glider, highchair, stroller, carseat, pack and play, changing table, baby swings, baby monitors and every other baby gadgets, toy and necessity and anything else we could possibly need for get ready to be mommies just not how to be a mommy or a mommy of two babies. That’s quite the deal don’t you think and figure that one. If you come up with answer please let me know what it is.
Thus as I started out on my new journey as a mommy of two and I’m sad to report that it become most evident even more now that I was a mommy of two babies and of course all mothers we are left on their own with NO instruction manual. In coming to this harsh, hard, cold realization as to there being no easy peasy, handy dandy instruction manual for this thing they call motherhood for me to rely on and following my moment of panic, wondering what to do what do and throwing (yes it is allowed for us mommies) it’s not fair/I need help fit had to ask a few questions. First was the question what do I do now as a mommy of two babies? Then I asked how do I figure this all out and in figuring this all out what can I rely on to help me figure this all out on my new journey of being a mommy trying to become less of a virginal mommy to well most experienced mommy of two babies. Thus far in my six year journey I have figured out a bunch of stuff and still working on figuring out the rest but in the midst of all this figuring I have seen that there numerous things I used and can use as a mommy to figure out this thing we call motherhood in the absence of an essay peasy, handy dandy manual.
This is what I have figured out and done on my own journey and maybe these ideas could work for you for your own solutions and journey as a mommy. Like many of us mothers do there are parenting and motherhood books that speak to the issues you are wondering about and seeking answers for as well as online research. In same vein there are several other places where answers and research can be found doctors offices, hospitals and so forth. Another potential solution or way of finding instruction, direction, guidance and wisdom is through our own mothers and relying on the good, positives and wisdom that we were taught as children, gained from our families and from our own background. Also another invaluable and no better other source of support, wisdom and counsel can come from your partner/spouse the person who is the father of your child or children. Mothering and Parenting goes profoundly better, smoother and easier when done in conjunction with the other parent. This is good for the mom/dad parenting together and for the child or children in question who are being parented. I personally always first and foremost go to my husband as he is the father of our children. We as mothers and fathers must be on the same page as a team in parenthood.
In reality this is not always available or possible for various reasoning.
Thus another resource for us mothers can be either on its own or in conjunction with another potential resources is a support group setting whether it is a mom’s, parent’s, parenting support group or even just a circle of moms who come to gather as new moms after giving birth and play groups. I know personally this for me has been missing in my own journey as mother for various reasons as a formal organized group setting but what I had do was sort like my own version which has developed (which often times in my life I have to do) was as my daughter started getting playmates that came over I would start to get to know the mom/moms. In another instance my friend become a mom and as our kids got older we had more opportunities for play dates and getting together. Although for me in my own journey one of the biggest and most invaluable solution and resources for gaining instruction and figuring out this thing of motherhood is absolutely without a doubt, next to my husband, my girl time with my girlfriends who are also journeying along on this journey of motherhood. This is for a few reasons one it gives me a break and a time of replenishing and rejuvenation but also I can have adult, uninterrupted conversation, talk with my girlfriends who are also moms and doing this thing we call motherhood together by taking sips, breaths, going and to talk it through with each other.
In all of my striving to figure out motherhood and being a mommy now of two babies I have come to another realization as to what the answer is for us as mothers not been given an instruction manual. Its simple there isn’t one because if there was one it couldn’t fit the needs of every child, every mother and every family and all their needs.There is no such thing as one size fits all. Each child, mother and family are all different, unique and special and have their own make up. Thus as mothers we each experience our own individual, special and unique journey with our individual children. Thus my journey will be different and vary from other mothers as much as their’s will from mine. For instance due to my visual impairment that creates a very different and unique set of circumstances to me, my journey as a mommy and for my family and for me there isn’t much anyone can speak to the instructions for me as mother or how it is to be a mother with such different and unique circumstances. It is impossible to have a manual that would be the perfect fit or instruction for every child, mother and family. What seems harder in the end is better and the best way because this makes it that we all have to find our own way, make our own discovers and journey on our own with our children and family making our own way that is the best way for each of our individual children, families and for ourselves as individual mothers. May we always strive to journey on making our own way, making our own discoveries and taking sips, breaths and enjoying our own unique special journey in motherhood.