Take Two Sips, Take Two Breathes and Ready Set Go
I know you must be thinking wait take two sip, two breaths, sit, rest, put your feet up and relax she could have not possible meant that. She doesn’t know what she is talking about and I must have heard her wrong that just can’t be what she said is it? No ladies you didn’t hear me wrong or miss understand me and it’s exactly what I meant and said. In reading this you must being thinking that wait how is what she is saying possible in motherhood. Furthermore for that matter you are probably wondering and asking yourself does this women understand motherhood, the life in a day of a mother and all that mothers do. Trust me believe you me I get it and fully understand. Considering after becoming mother six years ago with the birth of my sweet precious beautiful baby girl in August 2010 only eight months into my journey into motherhood I started my graduate work online in April of 2011. Furthermore three years into my journey I became a mommy for the second time with the birth of my sweet, precious beautiful baby boy in August 2013. At this point in my journey of being a mommy of a 3 year old girl and a 4 month old (who didn’t sleep thought the night until 9 months old) I started back up my graduate work with starting my Thesis. It was only in June of 2016 that I had completed my graduate work all the while had journeyed for almost six years in my journey through motherhood. All the while attempting to keep a clean house and home for my family. Also keep in mind this whole time while I have journeyed as a mommy additionally let’s throw into this mix my husband’s military duties, living 26 hours away from all our family and friends and to top it all of I am mommy who is visually impaired/legally blind. Thus I can definitely say yes I get what we have to do as mothers and what is involved in this thing we call motherhood. Although it was a journey in and of itself for me but I can now say as a mommy take two sips, two breaths, sit down, put your feet up, and relax,
In continuing my journey as a mommy and through motherhood as now a mommy of two precious babies my days while still looking different from most days of moms involving doing the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, play dates, driving kids back and forth to and from places, laundry, maybe a career too, bath time, dinner time, homework, dishes, appointments, and any other extensive list of a multitude of things that get crammed into the life in a day of mothers. My days up until recently was much of the same as described but it involved no driving anywhere completely at home with my babies (unless I was out with my husband or as a family), homework during nap time and bedtime and every Saturday possible perched at Panera’s and a majority of what has been listed. During this time especially following the birth of my second baby it was normal and frequent for me to experience and feel a major double douse, more so than when I was a mother of one child, of I was always behind the curve, always tired, trying to catch my breathe, missing something or lacking in getting family time in, house work done or homework done and feeling two times the amount of being tattered from being pulled in all these directions. The idea or notion of sitting, resting, putting my feet up, taking two sip of anything, relaxing and taking two breaths was to me was like what’s that I don’t understand you and even more so beyond foreign to me than when I was just a mommy of one baby. It was completely impossible and I felt if even if I could or even If I did I felt twice the guilt and like I should be doing something all the time non stop.
I know when I am in this constant state of double the dose of pressure and place in my life of not being able to catch up or being behind the curve, always tired, trying to catch my breathe, missing something, going double and 90 to nothing or lacking in getting family time in, house work done or homework done and I can’t sit, relax, put my feet up, take two sips and two breathes I feel twice as much and totally out of control, doubly stressed, frazzled two times more and doubly out of sorts with my feathers ruffled two times over. During this part of my journey as a mother of two I found my way to reducing these thoughts and feelings through finding my own way of allowing myself of not punishing myself or feeling guilty for taking those moments to sit, relax, put my feet up to stop, take two breaths and take two sips. You might be asking yourself how did I do that and come to this point in my own journey of being a mother of two which are both very good questions worth asking. First things first I realized I had to get steady, un-frazzled, in control, find my center and balance, destress for the simple purpose of my own sanity, well being and survival. Furthermore its true when mama happy everyone is happy or in this case sane and when mama can stop, take two breaths and take a break form the life of crazy days as mothers things go better and smoother for everyone. Also I figured out a little secret, although not easily, 90% if not more of it will still be here, isn’t going anywhere and will be waiting for you to attend to it once you have returned form your moments of rest, relaxation and rejuvenation. It’s okay really and the world will not (although it feels like it) come crashing down to a speedy halt if whatever is needing attending to this very instant if you say hold it and it can wait. This not always easy or done well for those of us who are a little OCD, perfectionist and type A personalities trust me I know considering I’m one of them all the way for better or worse.
Here’s something else to think about for us mothers the order in which we should address and handle things (J.O.Y. Jesus, Others and You), while this is very true no disagreement here. I think the problem comes in when often times as mothers and women we feel guilty if we are not always doing, going, and giving non stop to and for others. No doubt our children and families do and should come first but if that’s all we ever do we will become burned out, ruin down, empty with nothing else let to give, useless and of no help to no one and our families. We as women and moms must accept the fact that it’s okay to slow down, stop for a moment and take a break to sit, relax, put our feet up, take two sips and two breaths. We should not ever punished ourselves or feel guilty in doing this for we are actually doing ourselves, our children and our families a service by allowing ourselves to rejuvenate, refill and replenish so that we can be the givers, care takers, mothers and wives and all the other roles and shoes we have to fill as women and mothers to the best of our abilities and give them our absolute very best of us and love to those who we treasure, cherish, hold so dear and are our whole heart, lives and world.
All mothers have to find their own way to find what it is that will allow them to stop and be able to rejuvenate, refuel, refill and replenish and where they can find that for themselves. It can be anything an evening away, a date night, a hobby like reading, quilting, gardening or any other number of things, time with a girlfriend for coffee, shopping, or whatever, an activity of any kind, exercise of any kind and any other multitude of things that can offer you as an individual mom a chance to replenish for your own sanity and survival and for your babies and families. For me personally I find this in my writing and journaling, staying connected to my friends either with girl time or talking on the phone with those who live far away, reading, date nights or time with my husband, working out, Shutterfly.com or any of my other projects related to family memories or scrapbooking, playing card games and getting a way to Panera’s from time to time, and although seasonal I absolutely love swimming or anything in the water. These are the things that work for me but as we are all individuals and individual mothers who are all traveling on our own individual journey as mothers with our individual children as well we all must find our own individual thing or things that speaks to us that allows us to be free to stop, slow down to sit, relax, put our feet up, take two sips, two breaths and go forward stronger, saner, and balanced in our journey as mothers who love their children and families. As we together as mothers journey on through this book remember this as you have a front seat to my own feelings, thoughts, memories, experiences and life lessons along my own journey as a mother. Along our journey as mothers may we all strive to give ourselves moments to take a sip, sit, rest, relax, rejuvenate, breathe and go forward as we steady ourselves and our houses of cards in motherhood by becoming more balance, stronger, steadier, steadfast, saner and build the house of cards of strength, love, trust, safety, independence, steadiness, confidence and steadfastness for ourselves, children and families. I urge all mothers to take a two sips, sit, relax, two breaths, and go forward in your journey of motherhood steadfast and strong.