When did I become a zebra and where is my whistle and flag
Entering into the world of motherhood now as a mommy of two babies I feel as there is a new world of new changing rules that I don’t understand or know what they are anymore then I know what the rules are in football. At times I feel as if I have walked into a pack of wild zebras running wildly up and down the football field. I find myself equally as dazed and confused as the pack of zebra I’m amidst on the football field. I had no idea that after becoming a mommy of two babies my colors and wardrobe of being a mommy required black and white and stripes. I have never seen a zebra before and don’t know what a Zebra sounds like either but it seems like as if most of my days in my life as a mommy now requires me to play the added new role of referee. Its hard to referee when I don’t know or understand the rules of the new game. Moreover it seems like each day comes with new games with a new set of rules. Refereeing is a new role that has come with this whole new world and ballgame of being a mommy of two sweet precious babies.
In the life of my day as a mommy and referee involves countless instances that my skills of refereeing are called into play. I as a mommy am asked to make all types of calls on endless plays. I’m quite sure any mother out there with more than one or two kids knows this well and nodding her head at this point. In the life of my days of mommy the need for me to be a zebra comes into play when there are fights over toys, games, tv watching, who goes first or who’s turn it is. It can be in a moment of when my son or daughter is not sharing or it could be one took fill n the blank and won’t give it back. It could be one won’t leave the other alone and bothering the other. It could be one is copying the other. It could be examples of he or she hit me, poked me, slapped me, pushed me, pulled my hair or kicked me. On, on, on and on it goes in the never ending ways that I as a mommy have traded my jeans or yoga pants and t-shirt for my zebra stripes, whistle and flags. As my day comes to end I think how many flags could have thrown on plays and I needed to invest in whistles. I feel as if I will now always and forever be a not just mommy but a referee.
As a referee I must and it is essential for me to find a whistle and a flag to allow me to call this game of motherhood. My whistle and flags that I use in my motherhood are the mommy tools I have learned and discovered and have tried to demonstrate and implement, although not perfectly, and teach my babies to use as I have continued along my journey as a mommy. One whistle that I had to blow is the “Time Out” whistle whether for me or my babies or both. It could be I need a time out and step away or they need one because of their choices. I could say let’s take a breathe, a break and step back to cool down or chili out. For me that might be counting to 4, 10 or more or stepping into another room for a few moments. A flag that I can use is for the purpose of warming or to say let’s stop and think before we choice. I may say you might want to choose carefully, rethink that or try again before saying something or making a certain choice. I could also say to my daughter was that a green, yellow or red choice and if you choice to do said action or say that choice word or expression will you be on green, yellow or red.
Another whistle that can be blown or flag thrown to cause a time out to take a moment to explain something, make a point and create a teaching moment about something such as politeness, manners, patience, consideration, thoughtfulness, kindness, graciousness, generosity, courage, respectfulness, thankfulness, bravery, compassion, forgiveness, empathy, understanding, helping, treating others the way you want to be treated, putting others first, sharing, caring and among numerous others. Here is a moment of daring to be truthful and for better or worse I have on rare occasion blown my whistle and thrown a drastic flag said okay enough early bedtime when I had a really bad day with my babies and it’s past any point of reasonability. This gives me time to myself to relax, breathe, take a step back, recharge, cool down and let the kids know their actions and choices has a consequence to the point of requiring early bed time and think about their choices. Thirdly it gives time and space to give a chance for the situation to defuse. Sometimes the game must be called or frothed and there is need for a do-over and the hit of the restart button to be played another day. It’s my job a mommy who is now a zebra to know as the referee to say call time and the game for the sake of everyone. In these moments we maintain sport men’s like conduct and know we can give it our old college try and try again another day and do our best. That is all we can ask of ourselves as mommies and of our babies and families.
I hope that I can as my babies mommy in and my through motherhood hand in hand with my babies continue to teach these immensely invaluable lessons of how to be as people, how to grow and develop character and build their own house of cards for their own journeys. I hope as I continue in my journey that in my mommy moments that require of me to be a zebra that I’m a fair, just and wise zebra. I hope I can teach my babies the rules of the game and of life and they can learn much in the first games of their lives at home in their family. May the lessons and rules my babies learn help to teach, grow, develop and build their character. I hope the lessons learned as babies and at home will serve them well in their own journeys through life. May we as mommies always strive to be wise, fair, just, kind and respectful zebras for our babies and families as we continue to journey on through wild ride of motherhood.