Going 90 to nothing

Going 90 to nothing

Ready, set and go zoom, zoom, zoom ready or not here comes life and motherhood fast and furious around the race track. Just as swift and speedily as cars go nonstop around and around the race track if you blink you won’t see it coming. One standing still in the rush can feel as if being knocked over and being blown by the fastness of the cars on a track. It almost makes one wonder at the impossibility for the stopping of the swirling intense speed of the rushing cars as they pass by. Equally at times there seems to be impossibility of slowing the rush of the race of life and motherhood. The rush of the journey of life and motherhood can completing consume and engulf us as mommies. It feels as if the journey can be a total swirling whirlwind of constant and continual rush of motion. Something one could wonder if the rush of motion would swept them up in the rush of the current and undertow. I wonder in certain moments will I be taken away or swept up or under in the undertow or current of my journey as a mommy or will I find a way to ride out the swirling waves and see my journey through to the finish line.

The speed of the current of my day, the pull of the undertow of my day as a mommy and the waves that come crashing in my day seem to be constant and never ending. As soon as I wake up to my two human alarm clocks my day takes off ready set go or not with fixing breakfast, getting dress, making lunch, doing a few chores, and out the door to start the day. My son and I come back in start or list to do whether that is his lessons or his school time such as reading, playing learning games and abcmouse.com or my chores. It could be a day of phones calls and projects pulling me into the undertow. Soon it’s lunch time that turns into nap time then straight out the door to get my daughter from the bus stop. Following it could be, depending on the day, homework out the door to either the gym, Karate or both and or errands and family time. Then as soon as I try to catch my breath and blink it’s supper time, bath time, maybe homework, story time, time for prayers and then off to bedtime. Then its Mommy’s Me O’clock time or time with my husband to only start all over again the swirling race of another day. Furthermore sometimes in trying to do any and all of these things I’m being asked about any and everything form all directions all at the same time. I feel as if at times I can barely answer one question, finish one statement or task before five other questions are asked or I have do five other things before I finished the first thing I had started never mind keep the initial though in my mind to finish what I originally started. Never mind and heaven forbid the phone doesn’t ring during all that.

During moments or days like this it makes me feel that I’m swimming in a swirling sea that I can’t keep my head above water to come up for air and catch my breath or a break. I have to wonder how do I ever make it through moments or days that I find myself as a wife and mommy zoom, zoom, zooming and in a constant state of swirling around the tracks of my life and motherhood. Amidst all this constant swirling whirling nonstop sea of motion of 90 to nothing it makes me feel as if I have to keep up with the everlasting and never ending energizer bunnies that are my sweet and precious babies. I envy the endless energy my babies seem to always have and wish they would share in their wealth of energy. It makes it difficult to keep up and stay above water with the never ending everlasting energizer bunnies of my 6 and 3 year old babies when this mama is a most definite far cry from having never ending or everlasting levels of energy or being a energizer bunny. I think that is why my day in the life of my motherhood seems to be and feels like such a constant swirling whirling ocean of motion that the current and undertows pulls at me or the nonstop zooming of a car around my mommy racetrack. I mean with the deficit or discrepancy between kids endless and everlasting energy and often, at least for me, feeling worn, tattered, scattered and frayed I as mommy feel as if I’m going 90 to nothing in my race of motherhood. If there were equality in the levels of energy then there were be no difference and we would never know the difference to compare and realize just how insanely exactly fast the sea of motion and our race of motherhood is constantly going.

In the name and efforts of keeping my sanity and not being swept away by the current or undertow and not to be left in the dust of the race of my motherhood I had to ask the following question: how do I find a way to keep my head above the swirling sea and not be left in the dust so that I can stay focused on my babies and crossing the finish line of the race of motherhood. The solutions for me and answer to this question that would allow me to swim and ride the waves and not sink by the undertow in the sea of my motherhood or to be coasting through the race of motherhood came through numerous and diverse solutions. I had to learn to prioritize things and how I choose to use my time. I had to let go and become more flexible and not so OCD, perfectionist and type A personality. Similarly I found the realization of there were and are many things that can wait until tomorrow and if they didn’t get attended right away my world would not come crashing down around me. It was okay not to do everything all at once all the time. Most of what I have do as a wife and mommy will still be here around tomorrow but the moments of today will be gone tomorrow. More importantly I learned to savor the precious priceless fleeting moments of the here and now moments with my babies. Another solution for keeping my sanity and not being left in the dust of my mommy race track was to and is to make time to take my double shot of sips, take my breaths, soaks and get my sleep and snacks. Also it was key for me to find time to take my mommy MeO’clock time that gives me a break to rejuvenate and recharge. Moreover as a mommy for me seeing, finding and remembering the awarding privileges of being a mommy, having and remembering my parental positive or my mommy mountaintop moments and doing my very best to make my own lemonade out of the sometimes or occasional lemons in motherhood allows and affords me the ability to go forward in my journey as a mommy in strength, confidence, and steadfastness. In and through all these solutions has provided the answer to my question by giving me a way to finding my center, focus, and balance and keep me sanity allowing me to strive to be my best self, wife and mommy for my babies and family. May we as mommies always and forever find what allows us to stay balanced and focused on finishing in strength, confidence, courage, kindness, love and crossing the finish line of the rushing roaring race of our motherhood for babies and family.

About Heartfelt Meditations

I am a published author and was published in 2011. My passions in writing involves my journey through motherhood, my faith and my love for America and our history. I live in Louisiana bur am from Texas.
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