The Forbidden Fruit – all that is no
There seems to be a most alluring, enticing or tantalizing power and influence in all that is forbidden. In life we always want what we can’t have or is off limits. Being told the scary big bad word ‘NO’ only increases the desire, temptation, insasuniable craving for and weakens one’s resistance. It doesn’t matter that we didn’t even want or whether or not we realized we wanted it before we were told no. It doesn’t matter that we have multiple and numerous desirable and equally good choices. It matters not to us that it’s not good for us, that we can’t have it or it is out of our reach. It doesn’t matter that it is completely forbidden that makes it where we want it all that much more. It seems that this word of ‘No’ or ‘Forbidden’ is strangely filled with magical power that causes us to say, do and feel instantly compelled or drawn to the very thing that is forbidden and we have been told NO. As old and timeless as the Eve and the apple in the Garden of Eden, Snow White and the poisonous apple and Sleeping Beauty with the spindle on the spinning wheel, stories of forbidden love such as Romeo and Juliette, Cleopatria and Mark Anthony and WestSide Stores these stories illustrate the alluring temptation of the forbidden. .It makes me wonder what is it in the word or idea of ‘NO’ and ‘Forbidden’ or ‘off limits’ that mankind finds so very insanely inherently compelling and alluring or enticing to the point of no resistance. How is it that two letters of “N O” has and can possess such a powerfulness, influential meaning and profound impact on individuals.
In motherhood it is no different with my babies then it is in life when people who are told No or forbidden from something. In my journey along side my babies I have seen both of them lured by the forbidden and desiring what is off limits or what is not for them to have. It makes me wonder that I myself must have been the same as child. I wonder did my mom and dad also loose count of how many times the answer was no and if the times of telling me no was immeasurable as it is for me with my babies. Mommy can I have gummies after breakfast? No baby. Can I have candy, cookie or any other treat before dinner? No. Can I go outside and play in crazy cold weather close to dark time? No. Can I go play?, even though my daughter knows she hasn’t done her chores or homework, No. Mommy please my I have more cheese or chocolate doughnuts? No. Can we stay longer at the pool, park, playground, the mall play area or Chucke Chesse’s knowing we already given extra time? No. Countless other examples would be asking for any and everything fill in the blank of not allowed or off limits knowing the answer is no. It seems at times as a mommy that everytime I turn around I’m saying the word no to the point I have become an expert at saying this two letter word ‘No’. I wonder i just as we adult have curse words do my babies consider the word ‘No’ as a curse word. I would be at least a millionaire if not a billionaire if I had a dime for
every time I have said and will have say no over the continuing next 15 plus years.
In those countless no mommy moments I have had and will keep having has been most humorous for me seeing my babies both react to being told no in so very different ways at time numerous ways that its hard not to giggle at especially my son. At times they will have varying reactions of their own to this evil word No. My son will turn up his little sweet face and nose and say Okay mommy with all the vocal expression of verbally pouting with his hands tucked and sometimes walk a way. My daughter reaction is probably a preview of what is to come in teenage years with her fine or okay mommy and goes to sit huffing and puffing. Regardless of how my babies may try to get their ways, pull at me and my heartstrings to try to change my mind to get a yes it doesn’t work because there are always reason for the no that is given. I love my babies more than they will ever know and I could ever say and it’s my job to keep them safe and teach them. In the word ‘No’ theres is much power of one of limits and boundaries. It is within these boundaries and limits we find safety, protection and freedom. Also found in the power of the word ‘No’ are the immense and invaluable life lessons need along the journey though this life and world. It is my job as my babies mommy to prepare them for life and the world and it is often one’s first experience and exposure to the world and the ways or the world are taught at home. Thus I must be strong and steadfast in saying ‘NO’ and keeping the forbidden fruit out of the grasp of my babies. For if I do not teach them where will they learn the ways of the world and lessons needed for the journey ahead of them into this life and world.
As a woman and mommy there are times that I myself wish for what I know is forbidden, not allowed or not good for me but the differences is between me now as an adult as opposed when I was a child or like my babies are I have learned self control and the lessons of life. I must teach my babies the invaluable importance of the life lessons to be found in the powerfulness of the word ‘NO’. I must demonstrate and instill in my babies the value of restraint and self control. I desire for my babies to understand the reasons for the answer of No. I hope that my babies will know that it is for their own safety and protection and out of my love for them I tell them No and teach them such immensely and profoundly significant lessons of life. In teaching my precious babies No they will be prepared to go out into the world on their own life journey. May I as their mommy help to guide them along their way even if having to use the evil curse word of ‘NO’ and teach the life lessons of consequences that come from not learning the value of NO. May we all as mommies help build our own house of cards and our babies house of cards in life by instilling the powerful life lessons of the word No.