The Pursuit of who’s happiness
In life one of the greatest questions that is asked is what do we desire, seek and pursue in our journey through life. Which do we consider to be of the utmost importance for us to be on a quest for spending our lives seeking and in pursuit. For some people they choose to seek, pursue and desire success, power or money. Then others choose to seek out good fortune and good health. Then again for others they choose to seek and pursue love, peace, joy, enlightenment and fulfillment. Then one must consider the thought and idea of the pursuit of one’s happiness in life. The thought or idea of happiness is of much subjectivity and relativity. For what one defines and chooses as happiness may the very definition of another’s misery and vice versa. It can only be left up to be determined by each individual as to what he or she defines and chooses as to what they will create and seek for their happiness as they journey through life. I found this also to be true in my own journey in life and equally likewise in my journey as a mommy.
In motherhood at times this idea and thought of happiness can be quite the magical trick to create and achieve. You have to consider your babies happiness, each of their own individual happiness, the happiness of the family and then, imagine this, your own happiness as well. This in and of itself can be a tug-a-war between the pursuit of whose’s happiness. Trying to choose between whose happiness and the idea of having to choose at times can be the biggest war of all. I have observed and experienced how this plays out in the life in the days of being a mommy. In choosing a tv show or movie if both of my babies don’t agree then evidently the result will be with one being happy and one being unhappy. This is also the case if they both have something they both want or if the one has something the other wants and neither chooses to share or take turns. Also this can be seen when they each want to play a different game. There was a time when my son would get scared at night and he wanted to be in sis sis’s bed and my daughter. didn’t always like that idea. During these moments and countless other examples of how it felt as if we were all in a tug-a-war over who’s happiness was going to be chosen, granted or achieved. These choices and tug-a-wars in the pursuit of the happiness of who is exhausting, leaves me feeling battled worn scared, torn and tattered feeling as if I’m having to choose or in the middle of this pursuit of happiness.
It is true that we can’t please or make everyone happy all the time. Also it is true it’s not my job to ensure my babies constant and never ending happiness. In these moments of the tug-a-war of whose’s happiness will be granted provides profound teachable moments of immensely important life lessons to show and demonstrate for my babies. One life lesson is that we can’t all get we want when we want it or even we can’t get what we want all the time. Another life lesson is that at times there is the need for give and take or comprise sometimes my daughter might get what she is wanting then in other cases she might have give up something. The same is true for my son sometimes he has to give up something and comprise and then other times he gets his way or what he wants. An example of this I will say okay it’s my son’s turn to pick the tv show, movie or VeggieTales and then next time it will be my daughter’s turn next time. Also though i could let them each pick one and this time my daughter goes first then my son then another time it’s the other way around. Another lesson to be learned from this is that the world doesn’t revolve mourned you or us or that life isn’t always about us and at times it needs or has to be about others. Also in choosing who’s happiness to pursue my babies can learn, to share, care, take turns, have patience, show thoughtfulness, kindness, fairness, concern, consideration towards the other and other people. Furthermore in these moments my babies can learn the lesson that sometimes their happiness can be found in and through trying to make someone else happy and not just through seeking what makes them happy or their own happiness.
In my own tug-a-war of who’s happiness to pursue wether it be my babies or my own happiness I have to think and realize in that moment what is most important and what lesson might be learned. If it is a moment over the happiness between my two babies I look at this as to what would be fair or just or who had a turn last. Also I might find another way to try to save the moment with a happy and good ending for both through saying how about we use our tools like, trading toys, taking turns, sharing or waiting our turn to have a chance to play with a certain toy. Another tool would be let’s each have a turn at picking the game to play or the tv show or movie to watch. Also I could suggest that maybe there is something that both my babies can agree on to do together that they both like or want to do. If there isn’t time in the day or night to watch both then the next time it will be the others turn who didn’t get to the last time. There are numerous other tools that can be used to help create a good solution for both of my babies in pursuit of their own or mutual happiness. In the case of my happiness at times it means I keep my sanity, balance and gives a mommy mountaintop moment then I will chose in that moment what will keep me happy and sane. If it’s a moment of something minor regarding the desires of my babies then the moment if all possible goes to them to be happy. If in these moments of tug-a-war and in choosing there is an opportunity for a teachable moment to be found then I will choose which will teach my babies a valuable life lesson. Also I found my happiness in having sanity, peace, tranquility, quite and when my babies are getting along and playing well together in harmony.
In the moments of the tug-a-wars of the pursuit of who’s happiness that my own happiness wins I can tell you what I choose that makes me the most happy and fill with joy in my heart; personally I find my happiness in my writing and my hobbies such as Shutterfly.com and time with my friends, husband and family. Equally though as a mommy my happiness comes from and my heart overflows with joy when I see my babies happy, getting along together and their closeness as brother and sister and their interactions with each other. When I see my babies using their tools, seeing the evidence of them having learned and keep learning and growing in the lessons that we as their parents have tired to teach and instill in our babies gives me much happiness and joy as a mommy. My heart overjoys when I see my babies being sweet, helpful, kind, thoughtful, gracious, generous, considerate, courteous and respectful to each other and others. I take much joy in my babies being obedient, good listeners, following the rules and making the good and right choices. I find endless and abundant joy in my babies being strong, independent, confident, brave and courages. I find delight and have much joy in seeing my babies minds work, their intelligence, their creativity, their sweet nature, their fun-lovingness, their imagination taking off making discoveries and learning and growing. I love and have great joy in seeing their individual personalities, character, spirits, and persons developing, growing and blossoming each in their own special, unique and amazing ways. This as my babies mommy I find and have my greatest and deepest happiness and joy as a mommy.
In being a mommy to my sweet precious babies, while I can’t, won’t and desire not to pursue the never ending and constant happiness of my babies, I strive to teach them the immensely profound and important life lessons. I strive to help in moments of disappointments and sadness. I strive to grant moments of happiness to my babies. I truly wish and desire for them to be happy in their journey through life. Though I also wish and desire to strive to teach my babies what is important in life and what it is to be truly happy and joyful and what to seek and pursue to have true joy and happiness in life. I wish to help them to find their way, define what they find important to be happy and then to have the tools to go pursue it. I hope for my babies own journey they will choose that it is in and through faith, truth, wisdom, knowledge, strong character such as strength, independence, courage, determination, preserving, bravery, kindness, respect, thoughtfulness, generosity, gracious, consideration and most of all love that each of my babies will find and seek their happiness in theses things in life. Equally I hope my babies strive to find, seek, pursue and live out their passions that they are called to do in their life. May I as their mommy help guide, teach and give the tools needed to be able to do so in their own journeys in life. May we as mommies always understand what happiness to pursue for ourselves, our babies and our families. May we as mommies always strive to understand and teach the importance of finding, seeking and pursing true happiness and joy as our babies journey through life.