Every aspect of life is built upon a foundation of structure and order based in hierarchy or hierarchical organization. There is not one area of this life or in this world that there isn’t order, structure, organization and a system by which all life and we all live within. There is order in social systems and structures. There is order in families, communities, cultures, societies, nations and civilizations. There is social or work order and structure. There is an order and structure in economics, business and politics. Even at the very core of and essential to life itself is based in it’s own order, structure and classification. If anyone studies Biology one can see this when learning how life is structured and the order of life with the classification of every living breathing organisms into groups of species, genus, family, order, class, phylum and kingdom. Life and the world without order and structure would be thrown and remain in total chaos. This idea of order and structure is relevant for all areas, to everything and everyone and equally influences all of life on all levels from the micro to the macro and everything in between. A great deal of what life is and we do in life and how we address, tackle life and problem is based in or founded in how we classify our problems, our needs, our choices and forming solutions in life. In becoming a mommy I found this to have just as much if not more relevance in motherhood then as in life.
One of the greatest examples to explain and illustrate the relevance of this in motherhood and to being a mommy is found in the field of Psychology. If any of you ladies have studied Psychology or at least took a class or read on this subject you most likely would have heard of the theory of Maslow’s Hierarchy. This theory in psychology deals with human need and the order of such needs. Imagine if you look at a pyramid and you start at the bottom the basic level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is biological or the physical anything pertaining to basic needs in life such as air, food, water, shelter, warmth, sex and sleep. Some days for me I need one of these things more than other such as sleep, food or sex depending on the day. I think it could be agreed that caffeinated beverage or drink should be included with the need for water on the physical level of needs. The second level of this pyramid is needs for safety anything dealing with one’s need for protection, security, oder, law, limits, and stability. The middle level to this pyramid is relevant to one’s need for belonging such as need for family, affection, love, acceptance, relationships, and work group. The next level of need from the top of Maslow’s pyramid is of need for esteem involving achievement, status, responsibility and reputation. The highest and final part of the pyramid of needs is self actualization which is need for personal growth, fulfillment or it could be said enlightenment. Basically a summery of Maslow’s theory is that we all have needs but they all can be classified on various levels of importance and one has to be fulfilled before you or any individual is going to even think about the next level of need in the hierarch. Trust if I haven’t eaten, gone to the bathroom or had my caffeine yet I’m not even remotely close to thinking about if my personal goals or growth will be fulfilled today due to my stomach is grumbling to loud for me to think or hear anything else at the moment in time. Furthermore if I’m totally sleep deprived there is no way I’m thinking starting without a drink of my source of caffeine, for me Dr. Pepper, never mind how I can be personally fulfilled or enlightened until after I have had my double douse of caffeine and better yet much needed sleep. Right at this point you are probably wondering what in the world does any of this have do with motherhood, being mommy and my own journey through motherhood. Ladies stay with me here I promise you it has more to do with all these things then you might think even if you never had heard of or study psychology or Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
While back when my husband and I were sitting in church listening to the sermon our pastor was giving on what he called 1st world problems and it was about how we see or view our problems in life maybe a third world or second or first world problem or if you will a order/hierarchy or problems. Most needs we have are based on our problems of a 1st or 3rd world problem or need if you well. The example our pastor used was this you a person who is out of work and can’t find a job and wondering where the money will come form to feed his or her family. Then you have this other person who is complaining abut that he or she lives in to small of house although it has 7 bedrooms and a bathroom to go with it. In the same case it could be that same person with this house has four cars and a boat but has to move three cars to get to the one car he or she needs or want to use for the day and to hook up the boat to take to the lake for the weekend. In the example who do you think has the third world problem and who has the 1st world problem in life. Life is all relative and yes we are all completely entitled to our issues, problem and how we feel about such things. Moreover we should never have that taken away, dismissed, diminished or negated but at the same time this can help put into perspective the reality of our needs, wants, issues and problems. If we can as mommies have an order, system or structure or a lenses for which we can view things, issues, problems and circumstances we can understand how they might fit or rate on the hierarchy of life’s needs and problems. In having this lenses for our needs or problems we can learn and teach our babies and families a immensely valuable life lesson of 1st world problem.
For me as a mommy and my babies this is how this life lesson fits in to the day in the life as a mommy and my family. For my babies I can show them, more so my daughter as she is older, this life lesson of 1st world problems in the every day moments. A daily moment might be my son or daughter is upset because he or she wanted a certain toy that was a certain color or size or whatever such as my son’s dragons or dinosaurs and I can say I understand that but you can get a turn with it in a little bit or at least we are blessed to have more than one of any of toy that you have. My daughter may want to wear a certain item of clothing or outfit and I can say I’m sorry it dirty but I can wash it. Furthermore we are blessed and fortunate to be able to have more than one shirt, skirt, pair of pants and so many cloths to wear or to have a washer and dryer to wash our clothes and money to pay for the laundry detergent. Another example is that when it comes to be an issue over which tv show or movie to watch I can say let’s take turns or we are blessed to have some many things to choose from. This idea of pointing my babies attention to the fact of how blessed and fortunate they are to have so much is definitely falls into the group of 1st world problems or needs. In all of these examples and all the other examples that are to numerous to write I’m provided with a teachable moments to give my babies a new point of view, perspective, food for thought for looking at their valid and important issues, needs and problems.
I as well can get as much out of this as I’m trying to teach my babies and thus by me trying to do this as a mommy will also further help show and teach my babies this life lesson of 1st a world problem. Some examples for me would be I wanted to do more for my babies, family or friends at Christmas or for their birthdays or for mother’s and father’s day that would be a first world problem because I am blessed enough to be in the position I am able to give to my friends and fmaily. Actually as I write this I had a great example this morning when taking my daughter to the bus stop. I live in New Hampshire and it’s now February and it had just snowed for like 16 hours non stop and crazy crazy cold like -7 degrees this morning and my southern feathers most unhappy trust me. Although me being grumpy about the cold weather I told myself at least I and my family are blessed enough to have the right type and enough clothes to bundle up to go out into the crazy and miserable weather this morning. When life gets crazy busy and hectic and during those times I’m down and sniffly about not getting as much time or moments with my husband I tell myself I’m the luckiest girl in the whole world because I have a husband who does his absolute very best and would love to spend every waking second and minute possible with me that is 1st world problem for sure. Another example is when my time or days don’t go my way or as planned, as often is the case or at least feels like that is true, I think I’m lucky and fortunate I have the chance to do it again or better and tomorrow is new day. Furthermore a lot of times the reason my days or time doesn’t go as planned is because I’m a mommy of the two most precious, sweet, amazing, awesome and beautiful babies and I would trade them or being a mommy for the world and wouldn’t change one thing about them or being a mommy. Thus when I consider the system, order and hierarchy of my issues, problems and needs I’m reminded of how blessed I am and teaching my babies the value in counting your blessings.
The lessons of life that can be learned from 1st world problems are numerous. In having this lenses and tool of structure, system and order for viewing my issues, problems and needs and choosing to use it I learn and are reminded of the immensely priceless life lessons that flows from the perspective of 1st world problems. One lesson is that I learned that more times then not that I don’t need what I think I need and thus it’s not as important or as of big deal as I thought a certain need, problem or issue of mine is. Moreover there are often times there are much more worse problems out there that I’m blessed and fortunate enough to not have to deal with, concern myself with or worry about. Thus I should not complain or gripe about the problems or needs that are 1st world that I I have and focus on the abundant and countless blessing that I, my babies and family has been given and how fortunate I and we are. There is much truth in the adage of a thankful heart is a happy heart. In focusing on my blessings and being thankful for them it’s much harder to find or see what there is to complain about in life. In being thankful and counting my blessings I find there is less time for complaining about the first world problems or needs of mine that I thought I needed or were important. It is always a choice as to what we focus on wither to see the glass half empty or half full or even overflowing. It is hard at times to not get lost in the problems and empty glasses in life but we can always choose which lenses to view our world through as mommies. May I always choose to use the measure of my issues, needs and problems as to if there are 1st world or not. In my journey as a mommy hand in hand with my babies I hope I’m demonstrating gratitude, that I choose to have a happy heart and that things in our lives are first world problems and how to understand to view life and the world through such a lenses. May we as mommies always have the knowledge, wisdom, insight and discernment to choose to view the world through lens of 1st world problems and give evidence to a happy heart that is overflowing with thankfulness for that we have been give as mommies as we journey forward thorough our motherhood.