After starting my journey as a mommy and entering into motherhood with the birth of my daughter I heard someone say that I delivered a baby but I didn’t give birth. This to me made no sense to me and was most confusing and a little disconcerting. First of all I was thinking what is exactly the supposed difference because don’t they go hand in and hand and you have do one to o have the other. This made me think several things for one what exactly has to be done or take place to be considered to have enter into motherhood and become a mommy. What is the price of admission or the members fee we must pay as women for entrance into the club of motherhood or for our ticket to travel this journey we call motherhood. What is the process of by which we all become mothers. It is simply through the right of giving birth that we earn our right of passage to enter into motherhood or is the entrance into motherhood can be granted by a multitude of doors being opened to the beginning of this new journey as women who are now mommies.
In considering these question I think it is very telling of how much judgment there is out in our society and culture on women and mothers. The amount of judgement that we as women and mommies face and have to encounter seems to has not changed or transformed as our world as the varying different paths that can be taken to start ones journey into motherhood. This is disheartening because the journey of motherhood is the same regardless as to how one may have come to start or enter their journey as a mommy. The journey of motherhood may be the same but the path of entering into motherhood often times isn’t and doesn’t have to be the same. For many women having to come to their journey of motherhood in different ways should not cause judgement to them as women for having to approach and come to the start of their journey as a mommy differently.
How we as women come to motherhood whether it is through traditional childbirth natural or not, giving birth through c-scetion, having become a mommy after fertility treatments, having a serrate, or adopting or being a foster parent or also being a step parent or single mom have the same out come and result of becoming a mommy. Regardless of how a women enters into the journey of motherhood has no bearing on what the journey through motherhood will be for her and she will experience motherhood just as would another women who enter into motherhood through a different matter. Motherhood is a journey traveled by all women who have children through whatever means and care for, take care of, protect, provide, support and love their children. The passage into motherhood may vary but the journey itself is no different from one women to the next. As women who travel the same journey through motherhood maybe we should consider redefining what means to be afforded the right of passage into motherhood.
In our defining of one’s passage into motherhood may we focus on what it is to be a mommy and not on the method by which we as women became mommies. Motherhood is the hardest and yet best job one can ever do. It requires everything you got your time, effort, your body, your space, your heart, your love, your sleep and more than any of us could probably dream of before staring this journey into motherhood. As a women if you love, cherish treasure the children your care for then you are a mommy who is journeying through motherhood. If you teach, support, encourage, raise and discipline the children you care for you are a mommy. If you take care of, protect and provide for the children you care for you are a mommy. If you have ever had a sleepless night, been exhausted beyond all reasonability, go without food, privacy, alone time and space, survived teething, the terrible twos, potty training and been vomited on or pooped on and any other of the countless endless other things that comes with the one’s membership to the club of motherhood then you are a mommy and always will be regardless of which path of right of birth brought to this journey of motherhood you now travel. May we as women and mommies remember what is the ultimate goal of motherhood to love, care for and raise the babies we are given and blessed with regardless through whatever methods we have been blessed with our babies. May we also strive as women to be understanding, kind, compassionate, supportive and encouraging to all women, our fellow travelers, on this journey of motherhood for we all are traveling and finding our own path and way through our own journey as mommies for ourselves, our babies and families as we go forward as mommies.