The Catch 22 of My Motherhood

In our culture and society there are a diverse multitude of expressions and saying used for the purpose of expression and communication one’s thoughts and points. I have always found this area of our language most curious in that how did a specific expression or saying come to be, start and come to meant what it means. More precisely the saying or expression of ‘a catch 22’ is most curious to me and funny. I mean why 22 and what does the number 22 have to do with being caught anywhere or by anything. Sorry inquiring minds would love to know. Regardless of the answers to my questions this expression meaning seems to communicate and imply that someone is caught between two things. It might be more clear to say daughter between a rock and hard spot. For me thinking of being caught in a 22 is makes me think and feel as if it’s like I’m danged if I do and danged if I don’t type of situation. As I have journeyed through my motherhood for 8 years and counting I have seen and experienced a multitude of my own mommy Catch 22’s.

In all the food for thought in my own journey through motherhood I have talked about I have discussed at great lengths how you or I can’t please or make everybody happy half the time never mind all the time. Also I have discussed how very much, profoundly and how frequently I have felt caught in between all my jobs and roles. I have expressed that if I’m not doing it all for everyone all the time and that I’m doing something instead of another then something such as the balancing /juggling act of family, mommy duty, house work and school that I’m is missing something. I feel as if I’m constantly in a catch 22 in my days in life and journey as mama with the choices I make on a daily bases as a mommy between all of this stuff that I have to balance in all of my juggling act. These types of and circumstances of endless catch 22 in my journey as a mama is enough to make feel as I’m always caught in a 22 at every turn in my journey as a mama. Even though I have felt caught in may 22’s I have found that these types of caught in 22’s have reasonably easy solutions to be use to resolve or at least reduce my being constantly caught in the 22’s of my own motherhood.

In considering much my own catch 22’s of being a mommy I must wonder that even more so than all of my numerous daily mommy catch 22’s if there is a more profound, philosophical or idealogical catch 22 in my journey as a mommy for me to resolve. Here’s a thought could it be that for me a mama that my biggest, most profound and most crucial catch 22 is chasing between attending to my own self care, pleasing ourselves and making times for ourselves instead of filling every waking breathing second with the attention to the need and cares for other with no thought for our own. This is seems so beyond selfish right, but I have also expressed at great extent that I feel we are serving our babies and families best when we take a little time for ourselves. In taking time for ourselves to take our sips, breaths, put our feet up and relax we are giving ourselves a chance to refresh, recharge and refuel and can be at and our best selves. In doing this we are doing ourselves, babies and families a great service. I think most woman/mamas agree and see the value in this for our own sanity, hearth and well being.

For me and I think of many fellow mamas the larger and more concerning or consuming catch 22 of being a mama is feeling guilty for choosing to do these things instead of always for others. Better still, I know for me, I and we can feel as if we are in a catch 22 of if we do attend our ‘I feel pretty’ selfceare are we able to chose or do so without feeling guilty and punishing ourselves for it. I think the reason that is behind the guilt that so often felt by us mamas is because our thinking and how we feel about our choices. If a mama thinks of her choice to attend to her ‘I feel pretty’ self care needs and taking her sips, breaths, breaks and relax as harmful or a disservice to her babies and family then she is going to feel torn, conflicted, constantly caught in this 22 of her journey as a mommy and experience a deathly helping of guilt on her mommy plate. Although if a mama understands the purpose and great benefits in attending to her ‘I feel pretty’ self care then she will not feel the catch 22 of guilt in choosing her own ‘I feel pretty’ self care. A mama knowing the amazing gift of taking her sips, breaths, breaks and relaxing knows that it is actually a favor, gift and great service she is giving and providing for herself, her babies and family. Moreover a mama who knows and understands these things about choosing her ‘I feel pretty’ self care she will make that choice, makes time and do so readily and gladly without a second thought about it or the catch 22 of guilt.

I don’t know about you ladies, my fellow mamas, but in my own journey as a mama I sure do it get how about y’all. As far as I’m concerned I will always free myself from this mommy catch 22 that is always lurking to try to trap me with guilt in my journey as a mama. I will no longer let a healthy portion of guilt be added to my mommy plate over whether or I attend to my ‘I feel pretty’ self care or constant discount or disregard the necessity of my own self care for the sake of others. If nothing else in my 8 year journey of being a mommy I have learned the immense value of taking and making time for my own ‘I feel pretty’ self care and taking my sips, breaths, breaks and relaxing. I must do if for my own well being, health, sanity, maintaining my focus, center and balance as a mommy. I will do this for myself but also for my babies and family so that I can be and give them my very best. May I and we always in our own journeys as mamas take time to attend to our own ‘I feel pretty’ self care and making time to take our sips, breaths and breaks to relax. May I and we more importantly as mommies free ourselves from the this mommy catch 22 and from the lurking healthy portion of guilt that try to traps us and feeling caught between choose our own self care and care of others in our lives. May I and we go forward confidently in our journey in the knowledge of the service and favor we are doing for ourselves, babies and family when we gladly and readily choose our own ‘I feel pretty’ self care.Let’s let go of the guilt and no longer be caught in this 22 of our motherhood. May we as mamas always strive to unhitch ourselves form this mommy 22 so that we can continue to journey through our motherhood being are very best person of ourselves so we can be the mommies we wish to be for our babies.

About Heartfelt Meditations

I am a published author and was published in 2011. My passions in writing involves my journey through motherhood, my faith and my love for America and our history. I live in Louisiana bur am from Texas.
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