In my writings on my food for thought regarding my own motherhood journey I’ve given a great deal of consideration to all the hats I have worn as a mommy over the last eight years. I have also talked a lot about all the different jobs, tasks, responsible, balls we have to juggle and take on as mommies. I know for me I am a woman, wife, daughter, friend, student (part of my journey) and a mommy that’s one to many hats or at least it feels that way some times or truthfully most of the time. Although just within the role of mommy I know for me as mama this involves and encompasses jobs and tasks like being a cook, maid, running a laundry mat, a taxi driver (in my case plan and organize the logistics of the helpers with the taxi driving), a nurse, referee, teacher, cheerleader, coach, social planner/secretary, finder of anything and everything among an endless list of all the other responsible that goes into my life in days of being a mama. I’m sure ladies y’all are thinking the same and saying Amen. I mean I don’t want anyone to add to this mommy list of roles and jobs. I don’t know when or how I would be able to do accomplish them.
Unfortunately my fellow mamas there is another role and responsibility that is rolled into all of our mama duties and hats we wear that just comes with the mommy territory. One of the biggest, hardest, profound, and important roles that is apart of being a mommy /parent is the role of disciplinarian. Yes this is arguably the worse part of being a mommy/parent and just down right sucks big time. After start my journey as a mommy I cane to truly learn, understand and appreciate, what I once thought as annoying and ridiculous saying as a kid, this will hurt me more than you. Believe me this is not a role I want nor do I enjoy and is no fun. I think we all feel this way about this part of our job as mommies/parents. Although this messy, yucky and rotten part of our job caused to consider a question as more mommy food for thought. I have pondered countless times in my own journey and sometimes daily the question of ‘What kind of mommy dat will this be.
This question references the idea is this going to be a good or bad mommy day. What I mean is that what type of parenting will I have be or use today. I’m quite sure we all have said as mamas, I know I have, ‘I don’t want to be the mean mommy or even more, for me I don’t want to be psycho mommy. This all addresses the role we all have to do and have sometimes unfortunately, as the disciplinarian. Even thought I totally get, agree, absolutely know this is part of the deal of motherhood, the right thing to do and for my babies. It doesn’t mean that I enjoy it or have to like it at all. True this is totally a role that is directly cased and a by product of our kids actions and choices that they chose because in displacing our my babies all I’m doing teaching that choices have consequences. I’m teaching and preparing them to learn life lessons and to know the importance of obeying rules, respecting boundaries or limits and that when making certain choices there will have to be consequences given and faced by them. This seems harsh, unfair and do I dare say it the dreaded words ‘that’s mean’ or ‘being a mean mommy
In moments and days like these that cause me to have to be the mommy who is unfair and mean because I’m playing the role and wearing the hat of disciplinarian I have found several things to be true.I take refuge in when journeying through these mean and unfair mommy days. It’s these things that help me climb out of what feels to be my mommy valley moments and know that these moments and days are really my mommy mountaintop moments. For one thing as I tell my babies if you made a good green choice you get good and fun rewards and
Consequences but if you make bad and red choices you get bad and not fun consequences. I tell them that you and you are alone are in charge of you own choices. Basically it’s them and them alone that then they are in trouble they brought upon themselves by making whatever red and bad choice they made. Also I know that since my babies choices are theirs and their’s alone and they control the choices they make then they control the consequences they get. Thus it’s there deal and not mine. I didn’t make them chose that. Also I know that it is my job to teach babies these things and if I don’t no one will. It’s my responsibility as the mommy and parent to prepare my babies for the world. The direct product of this line of logic that the kind of mommy day it will be whether it is a day of the nice and fun mommy or mean and psycho mommy type of day is solely up to my children and their choices of their own choosing.
The purpose, goal and hope in discipling my babies is to guide, teach and hopefully spare theme from a world of hurt and heartache as they go along their own journey through life. I always love, enjoy and prefer much more the days that I can be the nice, playful and fun-loving mommy instead of the mean, harsh or psycho mommy. I also know that I’m doing my job when I’m filling the role of disciplining as mama to my babies. I know I would be doing them a much bigger disservice by not doing the role of the disciplinary. It may be hard now and hurt my mommy heart and make me feel as if I’m walking through my mommy valleys. But I would rather my mommy valleys of today then the possible and most certain harsh reality of the real world’s heartaches of tomorrow. I would rather have my babies face some days of mean or psycho mommy than what they could be in store for later in their journey. If I didn’t teach them the lesson of today by doing my sometimes mommy job of disciplinary it would be a most epic mommy fail that would cause my house of cards in my motherhood to come crashing down all around me as a mommy and my babies.
Despite the immense pain, heartache and the guilt of today that I feel when I’m discipling my babies I know I’m doing my job, although messy, as their mommy. I know I’m teaching them correctly, raising them right and preparing them for the reality of the real world. Even though it make feel that I’m being a bad and mean mommy I’m actually being a good and nice mommy has backwards as that may seem or sound. Sometimes we as mamas have do the hardest part of hardest job we will ever do being mamas. I know fulfilling this role as disciplinarian I’m helping not hurting and that I’m my job right. May I as I confining traveling along my journey as mama always do what is best and right for my babies. May I always have the courage to stay the course of this journey even when it’s get harsh, hard, not fun and messy. May I always do the hard things that are right. In doing what is right and often not ever easy I’m also teaching my babies the lesson what it is to do what is right even if not easy or hard. May I always be confident that in the valley moments of my motherhood can lead to and create my mommy mountaintop moments. As I journey forward as a mommy may I never wavery in my role and my ability in doing what is right and best in how I raise, teach, guide and yes being a mean disciplinarian mommy as I prepare my babies for their own journey through life.